My Thoughts After a Second Child

Here we are -getting ready for all hallows eve. This month I wanted to write about what life’s been like for me now that we’ve had our sweet girl home with us for almost 8 months now. Boy, do I have some thoughts now that we have a second child. I thought I’d share my moments along with other parents’ experiences.

The very FIRST noticeable thing, as the parents of a toddler; the toddler reverted to acting like a baby. Super cute, right? Well, yea to a certain extent, but who wants two babies? Not I. Olivia immediately became an outstanding big sister. She is so independent, helpful, and loving. There are times she requires a bit more attention. Olivia is a sharp three-year old. Sometimes she wants to be fed baby food (really it’s just to try it and see if she likes it ha-ha). She wants to be tucked in like a baby at night. There are some days when she wants to be held or loved on more often. It’s a lot of work, but it’s so awesome. I love it. Honestly, there are good days and there are bad days. As parents of two, we quickly built a bond with each other. Speaking of bonding, let’s not forget mom and dad also need time to bond. My husband and I have had a few date nights (so nice). We’ve had an incredible time and also stressful time getting acclimated in our new city, new home as a new family. Totally worth it, if you ask me. So much love! We have a new routine. The hubs takes care of certain duties and I’m all for both girls spending equal time with their Dada and me.

In general, we’re all just winging it (truthfully) and it’s something we work on daily. After the journey of getting Elena home, I realized I don’t need to worry anymore (at least not as much). I still have anxieties here and there, but I’m learning on how to take care of them. Since I work from home, I have a designated schedule and I make sure to spend equal time with both girls. There are times, I do something special with my toddler like do our nails or watch a movie together just me and her. I think it’s worked quite well. Let me tell you that no matter how much I thought about having a second child or prepped for baby number two, nothing prepares you for the unspoken stresses that come along with expanding a family.

It’s safe to say bigger family, a bigger house, a bigger car, the more income you have to bring in. So here’s where the universe gets you for something you might have done wrong in your life or as a child and BAM! You get hit with something unexpected (I’m kidding, but not kidding). For example, you are getting comfortable with life and all of a sudden you need, I don’t know? Something like a new washer or something more or less dramatic depending on your situation. But the point is you never see these things coming and you have to understand that these financial surprises seem to happen more so now that you’re a bigger family. I think they’re more noticeable hence more responsibility, so, SURPRISE! (Coincidence? I think not!)

At large, these last few months have made me realize a few more things. Most recently, I couldn’t believe my firstborn is going to be four years old next year. She will soon be in school next fall. I feel like I remember her being born just yesterday. I remember other parents telling me, “enjoy these little moments right now that she’s so small, because it’ll be gone before you know it.” (Ugh, I hate that they were so right, but that’s life). So with that said, I’m making sure I fuel myself up with Elena as much as possible right now that she’s a baby. I make sure to enjoy all the little moments. Make note “Enjoy all the beautiful moments no matter how small they seem.” I have been there for all of them and I am so grateful. She’s a strong and healthy baby now. She’s crawling and trying to stand up at the moment. I can’t believe that at several parts of our journey in the past; I really thought she wasn’t going to make it. I had other parents share, “I love my first child so much that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to love my second child the same way I love my first, with that same unconditional love.” I had some pretty funny comments from other moms saying, “your second child will for sure be the terror child ha-ha.” “You’re not going to care about people’s opinions as much.” I had an amazing mom share a wonderful moment with me and told me that kids aren’t going to remember a clean playroom or living room; they’ll remember the special moments in a fort or storytime, etc. (I completely agree). Well, I’m here to tell you that love won’t be the same. Your love gets even bigger and you love both kiddos equally, also in different ways. You’ll LOVE all your children unconditionally.

Onto something else here…let’s talk about their personalities. No two children are ever alike. Both my girls are completely different. I quickly learned not to compare. I learned to adjust to their different needs and how certain things the little one does that the toddler never used to do. I think it’s so funny. For some reason that Forrest Gump phrase popped into my head, “Life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” This may not be a comprehensive list of things you’re going to experience after having a second child because guess what? What I experience with my two children is something you may never come across. Something new you will experience maybe something I’ll never encounter. I read so many things about baby number two and so much of what I read was way off.

Overall, there are certain things parents will become involved with being a parent of two, which are the most obvious. Adjusting to life in a new place with a bigger family has been so much fun. It has made me peel layers of our existence that have made us so much stronger and much more aware of what is most important in life. You’ll adapt to a new schedule, nap times, feeding times, etc. We now have to plan certain things, ahead of time. You learn to become more patient. You quickly know (or not) whether you want to have a third child or not ha-ha. Things are amazingly different, but the one on one moments are unforgettable with your children. In life there’s nothing we can do to stop time; we simply just live it and experience it. At the end of the day, love your loved ones. Enjoy all the little moments, and learn from each other. You’ve only got each other. Now, this mama is tired and I’m going to bed. Goodnight to all!

Jack-o-lanterns 2019